


allergic to dicks

by renegade_heart (stover)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys In Love, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 20:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13442475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stover/pseuds/renegade_heart
Summary: two boys spend time making milkshakes with a kid sister





	allergic to dicks

Marco’s nine-year-old sister screamed when the contents slushed a bright pink.   
  
“I’m allergic to strawberries!”   
  
Marco heaved a long-suffering sigh. He didn’t know where she picked up the habit, but lately Katie’s way to confront a food she thought was gross was to scream bloody murder about how she was “allergic” to it. Even if she wasn’t allergic to anything but penicillin.   
  
“Katie, don’t scream. You’re at home.”   
  
“At home,” Katie repeated with a scrunch of her face, “where people are trying to KILL me!”   
  
He decided to ignore Katie for now. Marco turned off the blender and poured the smoothies into three tall glasses (Katie’s dislike for strawberries be damned), and Marco brought the blender to the sink to rinse it off. He glanced sideways at the glass jar of yesterday’s peanut-butter granola squares he and Katie had made, and thought— Well, might as well finish them off today. She might be “allergic” to them tomorrow. “Jean, can you dump those granola squares on a plate?”   
  
“Sorry, I’m allergic.”   
  
Marco paused a moment before he sent Jean a look over his shoulder. With butterfly clips and sparkling stars in his hair, Jean gave a toothy grin, tongue peeping shyly between his teeth.   
  
In contrast to Marco’s exasperation, Katie looked absolutely pleased with Jean’s response. She was kneeling beside him on a chair at the kitchen table, her box of treasured accessories in hand. With a great flourish, she rewarded Jean with her favorite treasure of all— a pink tiara with white plastic gems.   
  
“You should be my brother,” Katie insisted, patting Jean on the shoulder.   
  
“Aw, thanks,” Jean replied, grinning broadly as Katie stuck rainbow stickers to his cheeks.   
  
Despite himself, Marco laughed. “Katie,” he began teasingly, stacking the remaining granola squares onto a plate, “did you ask Jean if you could pretty him up before smothering him with rainbows and stars?”   
  
Katie’s face scrunched up again, and she placed her hands at her waist. “Yes, Marco,” she returned, sounding very much like the thirteen-year-old daughter of a nagging mother. She turned her attention to Jean’s hair, running her fingers carefully through as if she were an expert stylist. “I like your hair, Jean. It’s really soft. Like a bunny!”   
  
Marco smiled his agreement into his smoothie, taking a sip.   
  
“You’re making me sound like I’m some kind of pet.”   
  
“It’s a good thing,” said Katie all-knowingly, giving Jean a motherly pat on the head.   
  
Shrugging, Jean popped a whole granola square into his mouth with a loud crunch.   
  
“Marco has nice hair too,” continued Katie. “I think that means your babies are gonna have really soft hair.”   
  
Marco snorted pink smoothie up his nose while Jean choked on a piece of granola. Marco felt the unwelcomed sharp sting as bits of mashed strawberries squeezed up his nose. He grabbed a napkin and hurried to the sink.   
  
Katie thumped her palm against Jean’s back. “You gotta go like this!” She leaped off the chair and stood, hunching her back over. “Otherwise the food’s gonna go inside your lungs!”   
  
Jean coughed into his fist, a few rainbow stickers falling off his face as he did so. “Too late for that,” he croaked, rubbing his watery eyes. “You, uh, you okay, Marco?”   
  
“I’ll live,” Marco managed, tossing the napkin away in the trash. For now, he added mentally as he gave his younger sister a quick side-eye.   
  
“Is everything okay?” asked a distant voice. “I heard the two of you hacking up a lung all the way from the hallway. I keep telling you boys, small bites! Don’t take more than you can in your mouth!”   
  
The innuendo flew completely over his dear mother’s head. Marco hid his glowing face in his hands. Jean only had to clear his throat a few times to get over it, having lived through with Eren and Levi during the courting stage of their relationship and developed some sort of immunity. Marco was only a tiny bit jealous.   
  
Katie watched the two with squinted eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “Boys are weird,” she concluded with a scoff, taking her box of accessories and skipping away upstairs.   
  
Marco slid into the chair beside Jean, who was currently checking himself out on his phone and carefully rearranging the stickers on his face. After a moment, Jean pursed his lips in thought.   
  
“Hey, Marco.”   
  
“Hm?”   
  
Jean turned to grin at him. “I’m the gayest dick ever.”   
  
Marco burst out laughing, because Jean had created a large penis out of rainbow stickers on his face. “Very cute, Jean.”   
  
“Am I the cute one, or is it my—”   
  
Marco shoved a hand to Jean’s lips. “Shhh! My whole family’s home!” Regardless, Marco bit his lip, trying not to grin so much as he whispered, “But I think both are very cute.”   
  
Eyes alighting with the update, Jean grinned madly and touched his lips to the back of Marco’s hand. “Then maybe we should go to my place. I’ll show you my cute dick. Whaddya say?” And then he waggled his eyebrows, as if that was gonna up his chances at getting Marco into his bed for a whole afternoon.   
  
Marco smiled broadly, because he was a sucker for Jean Kirschstein in every way, rainbow dicks and waggling eyebrows and all. Marco slipped his hand from Jean’s and grasped his boyfriend’s chin, pulling their faces together so their foreheads touched, and watched Jean’s eyes flutter shut.   
  
“Sorry,” Marco whispered like the devil, “I’m allergic.”   
  
Marco ran out of the kitchen with laughter trailing behind and Jean chasing after him, all the way out to Jean’s car.


End file.
